An Open Letter to the one I can’t be with

 

 

 

I’m Sorry.

I’m sorry I didn’t end it sooner. I knew it would come to this. I knew there would come a time letting go of you would be like cutting off a part of my limbs.
 
I’m sorry I made it go on for so long. I made it last this long even if I knew we were never a match. Even if I knew I was dragging myself into a trap, I stayed. I tried.
 
I’m sorry I made the wrong decision. I decided to stick with you even if I felt like you were not enjoying. Even when I saw you’d rather be somewhere else instead, I held on to you.

I’m sorry I was too weak. I didn’t have enough courage to tell you I was in pain. I held it all in, praying things would change. I kept it inside; hoping things would be different when I opened my eyes the next day.

I’m sorry I lied. I led myself to believe everything was okay. Even though all the signs pointed to no, I still kept telling myself yes.
 
I’m sorry I gave you so many chances. I led you to believe second, third, fourth chances were easily acquired. For the times I tore down the wall simply because I wanted to be with you.

I’m sorry I am where I am now. A girl wanting so much to be with you; a girl who can’t make you love her, a girl who would still choose not to end it, fight to make it last, opt to be weak just to be with you, lie to make you feel loved, tear down the wall just for you.

I’m sorry I love you.

-Movie Marathon

Cant find time to update my blog. Been missing it a lot..been watching movie since Ive got here in Singapore. sometimes i really cant remember if  I’ve watched this and that. Latest list will start 

March:

1. A very Special Love -

2.  Role Models

3.  The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

-Somebody-

longing for someone….sigh…

i want somebody to share
share the rest of my life
share my innermost thoughts
know my intimate details
someone who’ll stand by my side
and give me support
and in return he’ll get my support
                        he will listen to me
                        when i want to speak
                        about the world we live in
                        and life in general
                        all my dreams maybe wrong
                        they may even be prevented
                        he’ll hear me out
                        and wont easily be converted
                        to my way of thinking
                        in fact he’ll often disagree
                        but at the end of it all
                        he will understand me…..
                        i want somebody who cares
                        for me passionately
                        with every thoughts
                        and with every breath
                        someone who help me see things
                        in a different lights
                        all the things i detest
                        i will almost like
                        i dont want to be tied
                        to anyone strings
                        im carefully trying to stay
                        from the error of those things
                        and when iam sleep
                        i want somebody
                        who will put his arms around me
                        kiss me tenderly
                        little things like this made me sick
                        in case like this i’ll get away with it
                        hmmmmm…..

100 Film Challenge

*I’ve decided to join the bandwagon for the 100-anything-challenge got it from judith

January
1. I am legend
2. THe kingdom
3. Smallville season 7
4. Bourne Identity
5. Bourne supremacy
6. Alien Vs Predator
7. In the Name of the King - February
8. Smallville -SEASON 7
9. SEX is ZERO
10. Winstruck
11. Jumper
12. Awake
13. Coffee Prince - MARCH
14. A love Story
15. Nasaan ka man Ngayon
16. One more chance
17. The Pianist
18. The Mist
19. 10,000 BC
20. Meet the Spartans
21. Spring waltz - APRIL
22. Prison Break 1
23  Prison Break 2
24  Prison Break 3
25  Alvin and the chipmunks -May
26. Step Up Part 2
27. Iron Man
28  Heroes 1
29.Harold ANd KUmar goes to white castle
30 HULK 2 - JUNE
31 Hancock -JULY

25 Signs You’ve Grown Up

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that this doesn’t apply to you.

Author Unknown

Happi Harts DAY

Happy Valentines Day Everyone…Spread the love…

Valentine History

The history of Valentine’s Day is obscure, and further clouded by various fanciful legends. The holiday’s roots are in the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia, a fertility celebration commemorated annually on February 15. Pope Gelasius I recast this pagan festival as a Christian feast day circa 496, declaring February 14 to be St. Valentine’s Day.

Valentines Galore

Which St. Valentine this early pope intended to honor remains a mystery: according to the Catholic Encyclopedia, there were at least three early Christian saints by that name. One was a priest in Rome, another a bishop in Terni, and of a third St. Valentine almost nothing is known except that he met his end in Africa. Rather astonishingly, all three Valentines were said to have been martyred on Feb. 14.

Most scholars believe that the St. Valentine of the holiday was a priest who attracted the disfavor of Roman emperor Claudius II around 270. At this stage, the factual ends and the mythic begins. According to one legend, Claudius II had prohibited marriage for young men, claiming that bachelors made better soldiers. Valentine continued to secretly perform marriage ceremonies but was eventually apprehended by the Romans and put to death. Another legend has it that Valentine, imprisoned by Claudius, fell in love with the daughter of his jailer. Before he was executed, he allegedly sent her a letter signed "from your Valentine." Probably the most plausible story surrounding St. Valentine is one not focused on Eros (passionate love) but on agape (Christian love): he was martyred for refusing to renounce his religion.

In 1969, the Catholic Church revised its liturgical calendar, removing the feast days of saints whose historical origins were questionable. St. Valentine was one of the casualties.

-Out of Town-

looking forward to this…vacation…..hope to see my bestfrien sha this quarter..sigh…

**confession

I just dont know sometimes why im so down, everything seem so bad..sigh.. i just hate if i let someone cry.  Pipol around me is such an annoyance already. I Thank God for all the blessings and also for all the trials that has made me to become a better servant. I Thank GOd for the bunch of friends who love me and treat me right.Thank you for making me feel lighter and better, more than I’ve ever been Thank you for all my friends and family. Please keep them safe today and always.

Amen.

-New Year-

Happy new Year! They say start the year right. True! But how can I start the year right If im not feeling well and suffering from pain. I was on leave for 2 days since I got sick.I'm under medication for 2 weeks and just incase medication wont relieve the pain I will undergo for operation.(wahhh.) Oh, well for my own good i guess.It's January 1 and and back to work with not enough of sleep..sad.we had this fun at work with the new vendor manager and Im one who won among the coaches.Lil bit sad since this is our final last week with the uptraining team. I will just missed everything, like everyday new agents, new friend, new challenges..I will also miss my  coach who always share stories,laugh, and joy through thick and thin how I  wish  that I could be with her again with new team.Sigh…Oh well new year..same old just go with  the flow..

Kisses - Type Of Kiss

Angel Kiss

This is a sweet, comforting kiss.
Gently and ever so lightly kiss your partner either on the eye lid or right next to the eyes.  

Cheek Kiss
A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.
  
Butterfly Kiss
With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart. 
 
Freeze Kiss
Experiment with this fun kiss. Put a small piece of ice in your mouth, then open mouth and kiss your partner, passing them the ice with your tongue. It's an erotic and sensual french kiss with a twist of cold. 
 
Eskimo Kiss
With your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together. 
 
Earlobe Kiss
Gently sip and suck the earlobe. Avoid louder sucking noises as ears are sensitized noise detectors. 
 
French Kiss
The kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss" because the life and soul are
thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues. 
 
Forehead Kiss
The "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. The forehead kiss can be a comforting kiss to anyone.
Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head. 
 
Foot Kiss
An erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it! To give a toe kiss by gently suck the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. It helps to gently massage the base of the foot while performing the kiss.  
 
Hickey Kiss
The object is not to draw blood, but to gently leave a mark that will prove your interlude was not a dream. This is often included in erotic foreplay. 
 
Hand Kiss
Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand.
Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady. 
 
Hot/Cold Kiss
Get a cold drink and put some in your mouth. Have your partner gets a hot drink and puts some in their mouth. You then French kiss leaving a sensational feeling. 
 
Letter Kiss
Send your lover a kiss in a love letter by writing the letter x several times in a row at the bottom of a letter such as XXXXX. 
 
Mistletoe Kiss
Surprise your lover by capturing them with a gentle holiday kiss under the mistletoe.
This is also a good method for shyer individuals to steal a kiss from a potential lover. 
 
Neck Kiss
Come up behind the person you want to kiss. Lightly lick the back of their neck, then kiss the back of their neck a few times.  
 
Neck Nibble Kiss
Gently nibble up and down your partners neck. End with a gentle kiss on the lips.   
 
Nip Kiss
This kiss can create a very erotic sensation. While kissing your partner, ever so gently nibble on their lips.
You must be very careful not to bite to hard or hurt your partner. When done correctly, this kiss ignites wonderful sensations. 
 
Shoulder Kiss
Simply come from behind, embrace her, and kiss the top of her shoulder. This is a sensual, loving kiss. 
 
Sip Kiss
Take a small sip of your favorite drink. Leaving a little bit of it on your lips, kiss your partner.
It is a unique way to create a sensual feeling and your partner will enjoy it. 
 
Stomach Kiss
Gently kiss and nibble on your partners stomach, and sometimes it leads to other things.. 
 
Talking Kiss
Whisper sweet nothings into your partner's mouth.
If caught in the act, simply say, "I wasn't kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth." 
 
Tiger Kiss
Quietly sneak up behind your partner making sure they do not know what you are going to do.
Out of the blue, grab them and gently bite their neck. Make sure to get a few good growls in too.
This will surely surprise them. 
 
Tongue Kiss
While french kissing your partner, gently suck their tongue while it's in your mouth.
This produces a wonderful, erotic feeling for both! 
 
Quickie Kiss
When you're in a rush. Often the nose gets it rather than the lips.

Upside Down Kiss
You stand behind your partner (who is seated or laying down) and have them tilt their head back.
Then kiss them so that you nibble their lower lip and they nibble yours.
This is fun and feels good because you can feel them breathing on your neck as you kiss.  
 
Underwater Kiss
Find your partner under water. Embrace and kiss. It's a unique and wonderful feeling. By the time you run out of air, you'll be back at the top. Continuing the kiss is optional. 
 
Underwater Deep End Kiss
Dive to the bottom of the deep end of a pool. Find your partner under water and begin kissing. Continue as you rise to the top. 
 
Vacuum Kiss
While kissing open-mouthed, slightly suck in as if you were sucking the air from your partners mouth.
This is a playful kiss. 
 
Virtual Kiss
For Internet lovers. Send an e-card or a kiss via email with this symbol: :-* . 
 
The Wave Kiss
While kissing your partner, slowly roll your tongue like a wave, up and down.
It can be a little sloppy, but it's a unique feeling and always gets a little laugh when it's done

EarthQuake

  Baguio was hit an after shock earthquake today with internsity of 4.2 But i didnt notice it since I was in the bathroom taking a bath during that time. I decided just to walk due to heavy traffic since it is a walking distance from where I live to where I can ride a jeepney. I noticed that a lot of people screaming and running just to pick up thier kids from school along my way. I just knew that classes are suspended from elementary to college level. Thank God that no one hurt from that after shock earthquake. It crossed my mind again when I was a kid what happened during the 1990 Earthquake it was really a trauma not only for me but for those people who experienced that calamity.

Cook me up a New Heart…

first, prepare the recipe for healing a broken spirit
gather all the shattered fragments

discard the ones that had been blackened by hate
pick up those thorns that was left inside for so long

defrost the pieces that bore all his lies and deceits
when done, let it soak for an hour with some care and warmth

marinate the part that has the fondest memories of our past
add some yeast of happiness to let it grow

boil the gallon of tears i shed
make sure it is purified into its purest form

take a bundle of renewed hope and keep it fresh
shed some light into the parts that was kept in the dark when he tagged me for a fool

add a fresh pack of trust and commitment
then a handful of loyalty and a dash of patience

mix it all together with lots of sugars and spices

finally, caramelize a shield of surival and layer it on top
top it all with some whipped cream of self respect

keep refrigerated to savor the taste for optimum satisfaction
best before someone orders a freshly made heart

serves only one person, the ultimate ONE…

togetherness

its not destiny that determines love, its choice.

relationships last long not because theyre destine to last long. relationships last long because two brave souls made a choice - to keep it, to fight it and to work for it.meanwhile, other relationships fail not because theyre doomed to fail. they fail because one of the two, or both, made the choice - to set each of the other free.

break-ups

When relationships failed we sometimes ask what went wrong There are times when nothing was wrong. Sometimes love just naturally fades away and this happens to people who are simply not meant for each other. I know it is difficult to comprehend why relationships suddenly take unexpected turns. But, it always happens. People we treasure are taken away from us for a reason . Sometimes we have to stop asking why and just accept our fate. If there is certainty in that end, then we should stop being bitter and just be thankful that for once, we have loved and shared our life with that person and made beautiful memories together. That acceptance will give us the courage to move on and make us realize that when God takes away something from us, He doesn’t take it away to hurt us. He takes it away because he wants us to have something better.

life..

life is short so take advantage of every second to see, hear, touch, smell and taste new things….life. in life, there comes a time when you realize that love and meaningful relationships are not something you actively seek. they come knocking at your door when you least expect it. i also learned that you will meet a lot of people in your journey towards finding that special someone who truly deserve your affection. and you will come across people who will blind you with FALSE PROMISES and BASELESS PREMISES. they are the unhappy souls who will never know they've struck gold already, and yet they move on, clinging on past relationships that were doomed to begin with, and future relationships that are bound to dissolve faster than ice on a summer noon. and you console yourself with the thought that you were spared of having to carry on a relationship with sweet-talking people who are nothing but JACKASSES whose seemingly invincible facade are nothing but worthless piece of junk. and so we put our faith in the universal order that puts destinies and fates in perspective: that you are meant to be with someone better who truly deserve you, not someone who doesn't know the real value of a diamond in the rough.

true

"Being with someone doesn't guarantee happiness. Finding your other half does. It doesn't matter how long you've been alone, how long you've hoped or how long you've waited. There's no such thing as a perfect love story. Heartaches will always be a part of loving. But remember, though no perfect, if that love is meant for you, it will stick with you 'til the end. No matter how tough it gets, no matter how long. Far from perfect…but real."

"A Love That Bites"

"A Love That Bites"
by Paolo Manlapaz

I'm going to fall in love someday. One day, perhaps from out of the blue, perhaps from behind my back, some wonderfully precious lady is going to grab one of those caveman type clubs and send it crashing down over my head. He's going to make me see stars. For days I'm going to be in a smiling stupor. Maybe I'll even drool a bit. And I'm going to be in love. This love is going to be neither cheap nor easy. It's not going to be a plastic ring bought at the corner dimestore. It's not going to be a brass ring purchased at some commercial mall. It's going to be a set of diamonds on a ring of gold. This ring will not come from a gemstore though. I'm going to craft it myself. I'm going to travel through valleys and hills, up mountains, and down chasms in search of rich mines. I'm going to smelt the ore, fashion the ring, cut the diamonds, and forge this magnificent jewel. It's going to shine in the sunlight, glitter
in the moonlight, and it will last for more than a thousand years. And it will be for him.

I want this love to hurt.

I want a piece of myself to be torn away and chewed on.

I want to bleed.

I'm not crazy and I'm not a masochist. I have never enjoyed pain and I don't like being hurt.

(more…)

love love love

*

** "believe that love can be true and it can be forever….b/c if you don't believe, then it will never come true.

life is short so take advantage of every second to see, hear, touch, smell and taste new things….life. in life, there comes a time when you realize that love and meaningful relationships are not something you actively seek. they come knocking at your door when you least expect it. i also learned that you will meet a lot of people in your journey towards finding that special someone who truly deserve your affection. and you will come across people who will blind you with FALSE PROMISES and BASELESS PREMISES. they are the unhappy souls who will never know they've struck gold already, and yet they move on, clinging on past relationships that were doomed to begin with, and future relationships that are bound to dissolve faster than ice on a summer noon. and you console yourself with the thought that you were spared of having to carry on a relationship with sweet-talking people who are nothing but JACKASSES whose seemingly invincible facade are nothing but worthless piece of junk. and so we put our faith in the universal order that puts destinies and fates in perspective: that you are meant to be with someone better who truly deserve you, not someone who doesn't know the real value of a diamond in the rough." ***

bukas..

talagang may mga bagay

na oras lang

ang makakalunas.

sadya ba tlgang

napakabagal dumating

ng kinabukasan?

at bawat gabing wala ka

ay puro lamang pangungulila?

ang tanging pampalubag-loob ko na lamang

ay umasa sa bawat bagong umaga

ay makapiling kitang muli….

tnx..chelsea